CONTRIBUTE

I have found that among other benefits, giving liberates the soul of the giver
– Maya Angelou …

That’s what I believed in too, but that incident upset my kids so much. I wasn’t sure if I did the right thing…

One day just after the Unlock-1 was announced, I came up with a plan to do something fun with my kids. Both of them had not stepped out of the house in the last 4 months so I decided to take them on a “Car picnic”. Which was actually was a drive in the car and then have snacks, after parking the car on the road side. The other part of the plan was, we would start the picnic when it rains. Driving through rains always lifts up my mood. So, on a perfect rainy day, I ditched my car, took my husband’s car which offers a good view through the sun roof, strapped the kids, loaded the picnic basket with sandwiches, juice, coffee and left for our “Car picnic”. We drove about 300mts from our house to a nice road which was lined with lush green trees. We played the song “Trampoline” by SHAED and Zayn Mallik on repeat and the three of us had a gala time. After 30 mins, rain stopped and the kid’s enthusiasm which was high till then also started to fizzle. But they didn’t want to go home yet, so I decided to take them on a ride around the neighbourhood. Both kids were chattering away and in a happy mood. Seemed my plan had worked. As we drove around I couldn’t help remark how clean and empty the roads were. Suddenly my eyes fell on a Jhuggi (makeshift house) alongside the road, made of plastic sheet and pieces of cloth. The rain had made it tilt to one side, almost as if it would collapse. A woman emerged from inside, followed by three children. All of them looked disheveled and mal-nourished. As we got closer I peeped into the door opening and could see they had a folded bed inside and a man and another kid were sitting on it. Water was coming out from under their bed perhaps from the field behind the wall. It had been raining incessantly since morning and now it was almost 5:00pm. It was also possible that they may not have had the chance to cook and eat. Food is usually cooked on floor in Jhuggis and in this Jhuggi there was water on the floor. Those days a lot was being shown on TV and written in news on how these Jhuggi dwellers were suffering during the pandemic and subsequent lockdown. The men were out of work. The women who usually work as maids and cleaners were not being allowed into the houses now for obvious reasons. The Economy had come to a standstill for all, but for these people it meant to go without food for days.

Thinking about their plight, their hungry kids and entire family going without food made me sort of uncomfortable. Annie, my daughter sensing something, asked me what was the matter? I decided to give my kids some insight into this aspect of our society. My kids being 6yrs and 5yrs were not exposed to it yet. I told them these people probably don’t have any food to eat. My son asked “Why Mama? Didn’t their Mama cook any food?”. I tried explaining further, “There is water everywhere. So maybe she hasn’t”. My kids questioned again “why are they staying here then? Why isn’t their mama cooking in the kitchen? I was starting to feel bad about how much my kids were far from reality. I tried again “This is their home, this is where they sleep, eat, cook and do everything. They perhaps don’t have any money to buy food. Their father and mother don’t go to work, so they don’t have any money “. The kids asked few more questions and then became very quiet. Both looked upset. When I asked “what happened?”. They just said “we want to go home”. I felt bad. I had got both of them out to make them happy and now they were upset. Also, I had no idea if I told the kids the harsh realities of life in the right way. Or also as adults when they are exposed to harsh realities of life or plight of others what action should they take.

I was sure they should learn to do something. Then it dawned upon me to give the kids lesson number-1 of being a good human being. I said “kids, shall we buy something for them to eat?”. Both kid’s faces immediately brightened. I had left the house assuming I was going close by, so hadn’t taken any money with me. I searched my husband’s car and found some change approx. 200 bucks. We set off in search for any shop which was open and was selling eatables. After driving around 10 mins we came across one. It was a tiny shop on wheels and was selling paan, cigarettes, biscuits etc. we bought 10 packets of biscuit and left. On the way both my kids were talking amongst themselves as to what more they should buy to help that family. We went to that Jhuggi and gave the biscuit packets to their mother. Her kids started snatching from her in desperation. I gave whatever remaining money I had to the mother. She joined her hands in gratitude. I left with a heavy heart. I wanted to do something more. So, the next day myself and kids decided to visit again. This time with some more food. We packed some rice, potatoes, oil and milk powder and went to that Jhuggi. When we handed them that, the mother and the children were smiling ear to ear and thanked us. The three of us were also feeling good about ourselves. We repeated this few more times with some more jhuggis, this time on the insistence of kids. I felt so much better that I was able to teach my kids an important life lesson.

All religions teach about contributing back to society. Hinduism says “Dana “(giving) is an important part of one’s Dharma (religious duty). And the Bhagavad Gita urges people to act selflessly for the welfare of others to attain the supreme goal in life. Sikhism says Vand Chhakna – sharing what one earns. Buddhism also requires its followers to do “Dana” which includes giving, sharing, and sweat Dana (means the giver can donate time and effort too). In Christianity the act of giving, sharing and contributing to community are considered very important. Islam teaches the Zakat, which is the third pillar of Islam, compulsory giving for those Muslims whose incomes are at a particular level; it is considered a purifying tax. People fight amongst one another for their religious beliefs which many times is outdated or unnecessary, but how many of them take what their religion says about Charity or Giving seriously?

I think the wish to help the needy starts young. I remember some such acts of kindness by my father which has impacted me. Earliest incident was of my father giving a blind gentleman some money every month. The gentleman was in his late 50s, educated and used to sing in the church. Being unable to earn in any other way, he lived mostly out of charity from few people like my father. My father had a young family to care for and was in the beginning phase of his career. Money wasn’t in abundance to spare but he always did his part. On the first Sunday of every month this gentleman would come in a rickshaw neatly dressed and start calling loudly “Minnie Apa, Minnie Apa, where are you?”, my mother’s nick name “Minnie” and “Apa” means sister in Odiya. Then my mother would go out, hold his hand and bring him in. He would then have a cup of tea sometimes biscuits and then my father would press some money in his hands. He would bless both my parents and leave. I also remember my father, continuing to pay our old housemaid even after she stopped working for us because of her old age untill her death. Even my mother used to feed beggars always around festival times. I have seen my parents doing charity ever since I was young. I always had this urge in my mind to help the needy, contribute to the society but for the first 5-6 years of my working-earning life I had no idea as to actually do it. I had these doubts in my mind. Things like may be money won’t reach the right person, my contribution is too less to help anyone etc. But a colleague at my work place who used to regularly contribute showed me the way. It has got into practice for me since then to donate some money to an orphanage or old age home on important occasions like my kid’s birthdays, birthday of any other family member or occasions like Diwali and Dusherra. It has become a part of the routine, just like buying clothes and gifts or planning a party for the occasion. The other thing could be, perhaps I have got fixated to that “feel good factor” which comes after doing such acts. What I do isn’t enough or ideal. But I believe in doing whatever is possible now rather than planning something for future and never actually doing it.

The problem is most people feel sad at the state of the world, the homeless on the streets, the orphans in orphanage, dogs in a pound, environmental damage, deforestation but no one actually acts except a very small percentage.

If we look at the ultra-successful billionaires, the typical people we idolize and look up to like Warren Buffet, Bill Gates, Mark Zukerberg or our very own, man with a heart as big as his wallet Azim Premji. These guys top in all lists, whether it’s the Richest person in the world or the biggest financial contributors to society. I have a feeling, that’s the key to their success. Once a wise person told me, you have to have a greater goal in life other than earning money – a greater purpose. When you have a purpose to give back to society, your capacity to work harder and earn more increases drastically.

The action doesn’t have to grand, the action doesn’t have to be for every occasion but it should be consistent throughout the years. Just as Mother Teresa had said “Never worry about the number. Help one person at a time, and always start with the person nearest to you”. The contribution can be money or labour (Shram Daan). But we need to contribute our share, give back to the society in order to bring about the upliftment and improvement and build THE society we desire to live in.