CONTRIBUTE

I have found that among other benefits, giving liberates the soul of the giver
– Maya Angelou …

That’s what I believed in too, but that incident upset my kids so much. I wasn’t sure if I did the right thing…

One day just after the Unlock-1 was announced, I came up with a plan to do something fun with my kids. Both of them had not stepped out of the house in the last 4 months so I decided to do something special for them. I termed it “Car picnic”. What actually was a drive and snacks in the car after parking the car along a road. The other part of plan was we would start the picnic when it rains. Driving through rains always lifts up my mood. So, on a perfect rainy day, I ditched my car, took my husband’s car which offers a good view through the sun roof, strapped the kids, loaded the picnic basket with sandwiches, nachos, juice and left for our “Car picnic”. We drove about 300mts from our apartment to a nice road which was lined with green trees. The leaves looked green and shiny in the rains. We played the song “Trampoline” by SHAED and Zayn Mallik on repeat. The three of us had a gala time. Then after 30 mins the rain stopped. The kid’s enthusiasm which was high till then also started to fizzle but didn’t want to go home yet. So, I decided to take them on a ride around the neighbourhood. Both kids were chattering away and in a happy mood. Seemed my plan had worked. As we drove around I couldn’t help remark how clean and empty the roads were. Suddenly my eyes fell on a Jhuggi (makeshift house) made of plastic sheet, pieces of cloth on the side of the road. The rains had made it tilt to one side almost as if it would collapse. A woman emerged from inside, followed by three children. All of them looked disheveled and mal-nourished. As we got closer I peeped into the door opening. It looked like they didn’t have any sort of door. I could see they had a folded bed inside and a man and another kid were sitting on it. Water was coming out from under their bed. Perhaps from the field behind the wall. It had been raining incessantly since morning and now it was almost 5:00pm. It was also possible that they may not have had the chance to cook and eat as food is usually cooked on floor in Jhuggis and in this Jhuggi there was water on the floor. Those days a lot was being shown and written in news on how these Jhuggi dwellers were suffering during the pandemic and subsequent lockdown. The men were out of work. The situation of women was no better. The women who usually work as maids and cleaners were not being allowed into the houses now for obvious reasons. The Economy had come to a standstill for all, but for these people it meant to go without food for days.

Thinking about their plight, their hungry kids and entire family going without food made me sort of uncomfortable. Annie my daughter sensing something, asked me what was the matter? I decided to give my kids some insight into this aspect of our society. My kids being 6yrs and 5yrs old then, were not exposed to it yet. I told them these people probably don’t have any food to eat. My son asked “why Mama? Didn’t their Mama cook any food?”. I explained further, “there is water everywhere. So maybe she hasn’t”. They questioned again “why are they staying here then? Why isn’t their mama cooking in the kitchen? I was starting to feel bad about how much my kids were far from reality. I tried again “This is their home, this is where they sleep, eat, cook and do everything. They perhaps don’t have any money to buy food. Their father and mother don’t go to work, so they don’t have any money “. The kids asked few more questions and then became very quiet. Both looked upset. When I asked “what happened?”. They just said “we want to go home”. I felt bad. I had got both of them out to make them happy and now they were upset. Also, I had no idea if I told the kids the harsh realities of life in the right way. Or also as adults when they are exposed to harsh realities of life or plight of others what action should they take.

I was sure they should learn to do something. Then it dawned upon me to give the kids lesson number-1 of being a good human being. I said “kids shall we buy something for them to eat?”. Both kid’s faces immediately brightened. I had left the house assuming I was going close by, so hadn’t taken any money with me. I searched my husband’s car and found some change approx. 200 bucks. We set off in search for any shop which was open and was selling eatables. After driving around 10 mins we came across one. It was a tiny shop on wheels and was selling paan, cigarettes, biscuits etc. we bought 10 packets of biscuit and left. On the way both the kids were talking amongst themselves as to what they should do to help that family. So we went there and gave the biscuit packets to the mother. The small kids started snatching from their mother in desperation. I gave the remaining money I had to their mother. She joined her hands in gratitude. I left with a heavy heart. I wanted to do something more. So, the next day me and kids decided to visit again this time with some more food. We packed some rice, potatoes, oil and milk powder and went to that Jhuggi. When we handed them that, the mother and the children were smiling ear to ear and thanked us. The three of us were also feeling good about ourselves. We repeated this few other times with some more jhuggis this time on the insistence of kids. I felt so much better that I was able to teach my kids an important life lesson.

Most religions teach about contributing back to society, it has been made a part of religious practice. Hinduism says “Dana “(giving) is an important part of one’s Dharma (religious duty). And the Bhagavad Gita urges people to act selflessly for the welfare of others to attain the supreme goal in life. Sikhism says Vand Chhakna – sharing what one earns. This and Sewa (service to community) are considered the religious duty of a Sikh. They take it very seriously so one can catch groups of Sikhs ready with food and aids where ever there is a disaster anywhere in the world. Buddhism also requires its followers to do “Dana” which includes giving, sharing, and sweat Dana. Sweat Dana means the giver can donate time and effort to community too. In Christianity the act of giving, sharing and contributing to community are considered very important. Christians charitable institutions such as schools and hospitals still remain a strong pillar of today’s communities. Islam teaches the Zakat, which is the third pillar of Islam, compulsory giving for those Muslims whose incomes are at a particular level; it is considered a purifying tax. People fight amongst one another for their religious beliefs which many times is outdated or unnecessary but how many of them take what their religion says about Charity or Giving seriously?

I think the wish to help the needy starts young. I remember some such acts of kindness by my father which have impacted me. Earliest incident was of my father giving a blind gentleman some money every month. The gentleman was in his late 50s, educated and used to sing hymns in church. Being unable to earn in any other way, he lived mostly out of charity from few people like my father. My father had a young family to care for and he himself was still working in junior positions. Money wasn’t in abundance to spare but he always did his part. On the first Sunday of every month this gentleman would come in a rickshaw neatly dressed and start shouting “Minnie Apa, Minnie Apa, where are you?”, my mother’s nick name “Minnie” and “Apa” means sister in Odiya. Then my mother would go out, hold his hand and bring him in. He would have a cup of tea sometimes biscuits and then father would press some money in his hands and he would bless both my parents and leave. Around Christmas this gentleman would visit again with a cake. This time to just give the cake and give his good wishes for Christmas. I also remember my father, continuing to paying our old maid even after she stopped working for us because of old age till her death. He also used to give her husband some money every month who was even older. A small amount to buy paan or snacks or medicines very month. Even my mother used to feed beggars always around festival times. During the current pandemic she used to make rice, roti, subji and go deposit at our Housing society gate. Then the policemen would collect food and distribute among the Jhuggi dwellers. I have seen my parents doing charity ever since I was young. I always had this urge in my mind to help the needy, contribute to the society but for the first 5-6 years of my working-earning life I had no idea as to how to do it actually. I had these doubts in my mind, things like may be the money won’t reach right person, my contribution is too less to help anyone etc. But a colleague at my work place who used to regularly contribute showed me the way. It has got into practice for me to donate some money to the orphanage or old age home on important occasions like my kid’s birthdays or birthday of any other family member or occasions like Diwali. It’s a part of routine just like buying clothes and gifts or planning for the occasion. Or perhaps I have got fixated to that feeling of being a good person which comes after doing such acts. What I do isn’t enough or ideal. But I believe in doing whatever is possible now rather than planning something for future and never actually doing it.

The issue here is most people feel sad at the state of the world, plight of our Jawans or the poor on the streets or the orphans in orphanage or the rescued dogs, environmental damage but no one takes actions except a very small percentage of people. The action doesn’t have to grand, the action doesn’t have to be for every occasion but it should be consistent throughout the years. The contribution can be money or labour or Shram Daan but we need to give back to the society we live in in order to bring about the upliftment and improvement we desire to see. Just as Mother Teresa had said “Never worry about the number. Help one person at a time, and always start with the person nearest to you”…